What surprised me the most about the evaluations on my communication skills was that others do not think that I have communication anxiety. They gave me moderate scores while my score was elevated. I thought that the people who knew me well knew how much I disliked speaking in front of large groups or even small groups for that matter. I do not think they know how upset I get when I have to do this.
Insights about communication
1. Listening. I have always known that I like listening to others simply because I am not very confident in speaking myself. However I did not realize that I am an effective listener. I realized that I do empathize with others and try to understand their feelings and thoughts. I do not become defensive when others do not agree with me.
2. "Situational". I learned this week through the communication anxiety assessment that I enjoy talking with one or two people at a time. I especially enjoy talking to others about early childhood. I do not have anxiety in meeting new people. The results of the assessment described my anxiety as "situational" because I only have increased anxiety in public speaking situations. I do not have a problem having conversations with others. It is only those situations that involve public presentations where I am the center of attention. Although I am confident in the content of what I am saying, I am not confident in how I present myself.
Professional & Personal Life
Fortunately for me, my job involves speaking one on one with child care providers. Each of their situations are unique so in order to give accurate consulting strategies, I utilize my listening skills to determine what each provider needs. I do have to speak in front of small groups which makes me nervous. Usually once I get started, I become comfortable because the people that I speak to are all interested in early childhood. I have had to make a few presentations to large groups and my anxiety was elevated to the point that I could not eat before the presentation. However they always turned out okay because the presentations were to groups of Head Start teachers who were supportive. They could tell I was nervous and helped me calm down. I think overall, early childhood professionals are compassionate and do not want anyone to feel insecure.
I do need to work on my confidence in communicating in my personal life. I do not have anxiety in communicating with others but I am not confident that they want to hear what I have to say. My husband on the other hand, can start up a conversation with anyone about anything. I think because we have been married for so many years, I let him lead the communication and I just add comments along the way.
Mary Jo,
ReplyDeleteThe results of the Communication Anxiety Scale also surprised me. Like you, I get very nervous when I have to speak in a large group or have to do a presentation even when it is a topic is one that I am comfortable with. I do well in small group and one-on-one situations, but dread being in front of others. Several of the jobs that I have had required large group presentations and discussions, so I have gotten better about this, but it is still something that I avoid when possible. Like you, one of the biggest surprises is that my husband, who I thought knew me well, answered the questions in a way that gave me a score in the Mild range. Of all people, I thought he would know how uncomfortable I can be in those situations.
Geralyn
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ReplyDeleteHi Mary Joy,
DeleteI like to talk to children one on one, but I think I am aggressive with adults to get my point across, However, I do believe I am doing what is best for them. I am learning very quickly in this course that I have to consider what others want rather than what I want for them, which may not be what they think. So listening to your post gives me something to think about on how I can improve.
Thanks, Kathleen
Mary Jo,
ReplyDeleteI have found that I am more comfortable now speaking in public because I have had to speak in such a variety of situations for my work. When I was younger, I was more passive in my communication. Now I am more aggressive but not to the point of being disrespectful of others. So I think our communication styles and listening styles can change based on our experiences. Maybe you have adapted to public speaking in a way that your nervousness is not noticeable to others. I have a colleague who gets anxiety attacks in group situations but she does not display any outward signs of anxiety. I only know because she has shared her feelings with me.
Jo I love to speak in public because I love to communicate. I really haven't met a stranger. Everyone I come in compact with carry on a conversation with me. Tomorrow I have to preach at my church and I am excited about it. I spoke at the Nursing hum today we visit there every Saturday morning at 10:00am. I love to communicate with people because I love people.
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