Week 5 Conflict Resolution

I am not personally having a conflict with anyone but I am a bystander to some conflicting issues with my job. Child care centers, public preschools, and Head Start centers in my town are called by the state to form a collaboration and become a unified early childhood network. When I attend these meetings, I can hear judgments being made toward certain programs, while there are others that are evaluating the validity of some one's comments. I mentioned this unprofessionalism to the Child Care Resource & Referral Agency who is sponsoring this collaboration. I talked about empathetic listening and effective communication and they said they wanted me at the next meeting to help with this. They said they were very stressed by these professionals' behaviors but did not know what to do.

Although this class is an introduction to communication and collaboration, I feel confident that I can help because there is absolutely no effective communication taking place. People are blaming and emotions are running high. I may not have the knowledge or skills to resolve their issues but I can try to get these programs communicating better than they are now.

At the meeting next week with the leaders of these programs, I may use the strategies based on the Non Violent Communication Model.

1. Honestly Expressing - I think what causes the conflict among these groups is what is NOT said as opposed to what is said. There is a saying about having "the elephant in the room". That idea or feeling that is weighing in on some one's mind but they won't talk about it. When communicating it comes out as sarcastic comments or personal attacks. I am going to try to get everyone to say what bothers them about each group. According to NVC, this would not be a blame game but simply a time to express how you are feeling.

2. Empathetic Listening - I will attempt to talk to these groups of professionals about listening without judging and that they need to rid their minds of past biases. They need to start listening from a new perspective. This collaboration is a new experience and we need to come together so that the children in our district will benefit. Also if families see that these groups are divided, we will never unify as a community. As a result, our district's early childhood education will fall behind others in the state.

I am usually very withdrawn especially in groups. That was clarified on my communication anxiety assessment last week. However, at the last meeting when I saw how grown, educated professionals conducted themselves, I knew that I could do better. At least I can try. I may not have enough knowledge yet but at least I can try to get them to do the basics of respectful communication.

Has anyone else been in this situation? I welcome any suggestions or comments. The meeting is next Friday.