It was a busy time at the hospital when my daughter was born. After she was born, they moved me from a birthing room to a regular room across the hall. It was a full moon and the nurses said there would be many babies born during that night. From early afternoon well into the middle of the night my daughter stayed in the room with me laying on my chest the whole time. Nurses came by to bring me bottles and check and me and my daughter but for the most part my husband and I spent much quiet time with our daughter. My in-laws were caring for my other 2 children. It was the middle of the week and many people were working so that cut down on visitors. When my daughter woke, we spoke to her and made eye contact with her but mostly she slept on my chest. She is now 17 yrs. old and is calm and a very happy easy going young lady who is very social and has respect and appreciation for all people. Our families often joke about the incident and say that she is still "connected" to my chest because she and I have such a close, warm relationship. It is no joke to me. I firmly believe that the environment following her birth, created that bond of attachment. The situation was very different for my other 2 children. It was very much a formal, clinical atmosphere. I didn't see my babies much until we left the hospital. I think maybe they were brought in for me to feed once.
My experience with my daughter came to mind when reading about kangaroo care in our text. In our text it shows women in Manila providing kangaroo care. I went onto the Internet and found more information about it. It is used most effectively for premature babies but of course is beneficial for full term babies also. There are different kinds of kangaroo care. There is the Skin to Skin care where the baby lays on the mother's body with nothing in between. From my research, it appears that this practice is used extensively in South Africa.
After reading more on kangaroo care, I learned that I did not provide true kangaroo care for my daughter, it was a form of it. I firmly believe that the time spent with your baby following birth is crucial to the attachment in later years. People should respect that parents need those first few hours as a time of quiet bonding and save the visiting for later. My experience is far from being a study but it was convincing enough for me to believe that the parent/child attachment after birth is a good indicator of attachment in later years.
It sounds like your birthing experience with your 17 year old was ideal. I also believe that a nurturing environment with a mothers and her newborn is beneficial in creating healthy attachments and contributes to good child development.
ReplyDeleteGreat memories Mary Jo, it reminded me how much I enjoyed my first and only pregnancy. I agree with you about the bonding process, and let the child feel your skin, your voice, the warm contact between the unborn and the parents, especially the mother (who spend 9 months in welcome the baby) Even when research has not show that bonding is crucial for children, I think that it brings positive outcome later in life. I see from your experience, and looking at my own, the bonding and attachment process has brought great results for both parents and child. I loved reading your story of your third child, what great memories! Sometimes I cry just to think how happy I am in having my child. Thank you for sharing and hoping we can get more stories like this one in the following weeks.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful story, thank you for sharing. When my twins were born, they were only 34 weeks and one had to stay for a month in the NICU. When I visited I did kangaroo care and it was very soothing for me also. I needed to feel him near me as it was very difficult for me to leave him in the hospital. Your story of how you were left to bond with your daughter was powerful. I share that feeling with my youngest with whom I had a water birth and we had so much time to just get to know eachother. I wish everyone realized how much of an impact on both the mother and child it makes. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMary Jo,
ReplyDeleteYour connection reminds me of the stories that I hear from my family about my mother. I was her first born and my family still laughs about how I was connected to her hip. Even when I was old enough to walk and talk I would bring my toys and dolls and sit right next to her for hours and play quietly. There is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her child.
Lauren