Relationship Reflection

I have many relationships that are supportive and positive, yet are very unique to each other.
Husband
I have been married for 27 years. Most people will think that is a great relationship and yes it is. However, no two people can be together that long without having challenges along the way. We are fortunate that the challenges have not been anything dreadful like infidelity, or illness. Over the many years there have been financial problems, changes in jobs, and different viewpoints on raising children. When we emerged out of the challenges, each one of us became stronger as an individual and our relationship as a couple even closer.
Children
My children now all grown up have been my most influential teachers throughout life. The unconditional love that I feel for them has made me strong, assertive and confident in ways that I have never been when I was younger. Many times in our work, we learn about ourselves through the children. I have without a doubt become the person I am because of my relationships with my children. Each one is so unique and has taught me so many things. Matthew on the left is working on his PhD at the Univ. of Tenn. in English. Our relationship has always been more formal. Growing up, he would love to talk to me about the many books he was reading and his love for literature. Phillip on the right we often called our spokesman for the family. He is quite outgoing and is an extremely happy person. Our relationship is one of teasing and joking. He has grown to be a very family oriented son. He will get his BA in Political Science in Dec. at a local University and is awaiting acceptance to Law School. Maggie in the middle is my youngest and only daughter. She is a Senior in high school and is a dancer. I see life completely different through her eyes. She loves people and finds something good in everyone. We spend a lot of time talking and going to the mall. My husband and I enjoy attending her dance competitions and joke about how much attention we can give her because she is the last child at home.  The best way to describe our relationship is that she completes my life.

Relationships have many positive benefits for our development as a stable person. Sometimes relationships evolve over a period of time. Having a good relationship does not mean that the person always agrees with you or you agree with them. I think the most profound impact of a relationship is dealing with the challenges, learning from those challenges and then becoming a better person as a result of that relationship. My sister emailed me this quote the other day and I do not know who said it or where it originated.

"God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be!!"

The positive supportive relationships are easy and fun but it is in the challenging relationships that we discover the meaning of who we are. I think the same is true in early childhood. Many of us have had children in our care that had difficult temperaments or maybe it was the parents that were difficult to work with. Either way, as professionals, we must rise above the situation, learn more about the child or adult and work to create some form of a relationship. It may not be the same kind of relationship that you have with another child or parent but the important point is that there are benefits to the relationship. We make new discoveries about ourselves and others when we work at a relationship. Over a period of time, we grow as a person and are better able to handle different temperaments.