Last week we talked about the adjourning phase of a group or team. However now that it is real this week, it is much harder to describe. So many times, responding to a discussion or a blog was such a positive escape from the real world of people who are prejudice, hurtful, and so closed-minded. I often wished that I could have some of you with me all day as I went about doing my work. You could encourage me when others bring me down. But then I realized that you can be with me all day. I have gained more from all of you than you will ever know. It may have been a simple sentence in a blog response or something more insightful in a discussion. In difficult times, I can go back in my memory and think of all the encouragement and knowledge all of you have given me. This can help me through those hard times. How different my perspectives are on many aspects of life now that I have gone through these courses. I have grown as a student, a professional, and as a person. I am truly a better person for having known and learned from all of you. I wish all of you the very best as we move forward. I hope that I talk to some of you in the Public Policy and Advocacy concentration. If we don't meet again, always know that you were very special to me and that we were a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. The sum of the parts are greater than the individual parts. I am so grateful to have been a part of this team.
Take Care,
Mary Jo
Monday, October 21, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Adjourning
I have belonged to many groups where our work had ended and we had to say goodbye. I think the hardest to say goodbye to was not on a professional level but on a more informal level. My daughter took dancing lessons at a local dancing school since she was 4 years old. In April she graduated from her dancing school at the age of 18. This dancing school was very involved as they took part in parades, competitions, and an elaborate recital at the end of each school year. For many of you, you may be thinking of the TV show Dance Moms. Well I can assure you it was nothing like that. The school was a very family friendly place where all girls were treasured. We the parents all grew together over the past 14 years. We shared stories as we waited in the waiting room, we traveled together to parades, and we cheered and cried together at competitions. Although we did not associate with each other on a social level, we had such a bond through our daughters and through our passion for making our girls happy. I remember an instance when one of the girls lost her feather headpiece for a dance. All the moms took one feather from their daughters' headpieces and was able to make a new headpiece for the girl. When our girls graduated we all hugged and cried. We watched our daughters grow from babies through their awkward stages and now into beautiful young women. We knew that each girl would be moving in a different direction and as a result we would be moving with them. We all looked at each other and agreed, "What a great ride" I miss those moments with those ladies but I am also glad that I had the experience.
For this master's program at Walden University, I will be saying goodbye to groups of women twice. I followed the same group of colleagues for the first five courses and then took a short break for eight weeks. I was very sad to leave those women because I was accustomed to the way they wrote their discussions and how they responded. However it did not take long once I started again in September to make new friends. I have learned so much from all my colleagues and although we may not be able to speak to each other personally, I know we have had the same challenges and struggles. We have gotten to know so much about each person. I know I have shared stories with my colleagues that no one else knows. In our courses, mutual respect and trust was present. We trusted that we would not be judged by our challenges in life but we would be given encouragement and hope. I will miss our special kind of collaboration.
For this master's program at Walden University, I will be saying goodbye to groups of women twice. I followed the same group of colleagues for the first five courses and then took a short break for eight weeks. I was very sad to leave those women because I was accustomed to the way they wrote their discussions and how they responded. However it did not take long once I started again in September to make new friends. I have learned so much from all my colleagues and although we may not be able to speak to each other personally, I know we have had the same challenges and struggles. We have gotten to know so much about each person. I know I have shared stories with my colleagues that no one else knows. In our courses, mutual respect and trust was present. We trusted that we would not be judged by our challenges in life but we would be given encouragement and hope. I will miss our special kind of collaboration.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Week 5 Conflict Resolution
I am not personally having a conflict with anyone but I am a bystander to some conflicting issues with my job. Child care centers, public preschools, and Head Start centers in my town are called by the state to form a collaboration and become a unified early childhood network. When I attend these meetings, I can hear judgments being made toward certain programs, while there are others that are evaluating the validity of some one's comments. I mentioned this unprofessionalism to the Child Care Resource & Referral Agency who is sponsoring this collaboration. I talked about empathetic listening and effective communication and they said they wanted me at the next meeting to help with this. They said they were very stressed by these professionals' behaviors but did not know what to do.
Although this class is an introduction to communication and collaboration, I feel confident that I can help because there is absolutely no effective communication taking place. People are blaming and emotions are running high. I may not have the knowledge or skills to resolve their issues but I can try to get these programs communicating better than they are now.
At the meeting next week with the leaders of these programs, I may use the strategies based on the Non Violent Communication Model.
1. Honestly Expressing - I think what causes the conflict among these groups is what is NOT said as opposed to what is said. There is a saying about having "the elephant in the room". That idea or feeling that is weighing in on some one's mind but they won't talk about it. When communicating it comes out as sarcastic comments or personal attacks. I am going to try to get everyone to say what bothers them about each group. According to NVC, this would not be a blame game but simply a time to express how you are feeling.
2. Empathetic Listening - I will attempt to talk to these groups of professionals about listening without judging and that they need to rid their minds of past biases. They need to start listening from a new perspective. This collaboration is a new experience and we need to come together so that the children in our district will benefit. Also if families see that these groups are divided, we will never unify as a community. As a result, our district's early childhood education will fall behind others in the state.
I am usually very withdrawn especially in groups. That was clarified on my communication anxiety assessment last week. However, at the last meeting when I saw how grown, educated professionals conducted themselves, I knew that I could do better. At least I can try. I may not have enough knowledge yet but at least I can try to get them to do the basics of respectful communication.
Has anyone else been in this situation? I welcome any suggestions or comments. The meeting is next Friday.
Although this class is an introduction to communication and collaboration, I feel confident that I can help because there is absolutely no effective communication taking place. People are blaming and emotions are running high. I may not have the knowledge or skills to resolve their issues but I can try to get these programs communicating better than they are now.
At the meeting next week with the leaders of these programs, I may use the strategies based on the Non Violent Communication Model.
1. Honestly Expressing - I think what causes the conflict among these groups is what is NOT said as opposed to what is said. There is a saying about having "the elephant in the room". That idea or feeling that is weighing in on some one's mind but they won't talk about it. When communicating it comes out as sarcastic comments or personal attacks. I am going to try to get everyone to say what bothers them about each group. According to NVC, this would not be a blame game but simply a time to express how you are feeling.
2. Empathetic Listening - I will attempt to talk to these groups of professionals about listening without judging and that they need to rid their minds of past biases. They need to start listening from a new perspective. This collaboration is a new experience and we need to come together so that the children in our district will benefit. Also if families see that these groups are divided, we will never unify as a community. As a result, our district's early childhood education will fall behind others in the state.
I am usually very withdrawn especially in groups. That was clarified on my communication anxiety assessment last week. However, at the last meeting when I saw how grown, educated professionals conducted themselves, I knew that I could do better. At least I can try. I may not have enough knowledge yet but at least I can try to get them to do the basics of respectful communication.
Has anyone else been in this situation? I welcome any suggestions or comments. The meeting is next Friday.
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